Category: life

I’m better. 🙂 thank you.


Continue reading

Weave :-P

Weave 🙂


a Letter…. :)

Dear Biz,

Do not disrespect a person’s time, and call an hour LATER than when you said you would for an interview. Especially, when you are late AGAIN for the ‘rescheduled’ time. Do you realize that was precious time I could have spent…well, doing anything else! LMAO!!!! Then has the nerve to tell me, the position has been filled already………….. yeah…. why THE FUCK did you call me then?!?!?!?

Then says, “Wellllll, you could try to get into an even lower entry position that doesn’t gaurentee you will move within the company… The only way you would move up is if you went back to school to get a higher level education”  hmmmmmm…… BASTARD! I HAVE A FUCKING BACHELORS DEGREE WITH A $100,000+ DEBT!!! Trust me I understand I’m not going to get a Lead or Senior position starting off, trust me I get that. But that right there is whats wrong with jobs today.

There was much more to this bullshit but I’m going to leave it at that

On a positive note, Thank you for instilling even less faith in businesses like yourself! No really ,Thank you!!! 🙂

Love Always and Forever,


This shits a joke, LOL!!!

I wish I cared but I don’t

I’ve always wished I cared about my body but fuck that!! Foods the shit!! I don’t exercise. I haven’t been to dance class in months. I eat fast food all the time. I eat sugar when ever the opportunity is given to me.

mixed feelings.

It’s interesting to see how friends evolve. Some create humble beautiful family worlds. Some stay relatively the same. but one in particular has truly made a name for herself. I’ve always known she was going to make it. Just a few years ago, we understood eachother inside and out on an artistic level, I knew her as my art soul-mate at the time. But I knew she had the whole package–the look, the drive, and the talent. But most importantly the drive. She signed with the ‘right’ management–and took off! Now, I can barely get a facebook message in–I’ll be surprised if she even sees it… better yet even remembers me ?

So, I found out she’s stopping in my town for the first time–we were distant/”internet” friends if you will. I’m having mixed feelings about watching her perform & meeting her for the first time. My spiritual heart says, to support others even if it hurts–yet whats the the point if I find out they’ve turned arrogant-&-celeb-head? Or maybe I should just let go of the past–and realize that old time of mutual understanding has passed.  Or maybe it’ll end up being comforting for her to see a familiar face–going city to city, and I’d become apart of her experience on the road?  But is it genuine to go a performance that you feel you’re almost doing a favor for?   If it really came down to it, I would go just out of pure curiosity–Not out of fandom or admiration.  Hm? :-/ But what do I have to offer anymore? We are no longer balanced and parallel to one another–which then puts me into a lower submissive position and another fan. If I am merely 1 of a million, where is the value?

Then I start to think my dreams seem so miniscule now.  It’s a good thing and a bad thing. It’s a good thing because I hear this voice always saying “Aim higher! Aim higher! Buy that damn camera and start your art again!” on the other hand… I hear my normal voice, “Remember the dream of just being happy no matter where it comes from? Remember the dream of having a husband and family of my own?”

It’s a strange position to be in. Because I used to be that person that dreamt big …  It just feels odd and extremely uncomfortable. meh. lol.

Stage Presence By Amira Jamal: Lift, look up and beyond, and smile

Best Article I’ve read yet about stage presence. A Must Read.

Speaking of energy: If you want to think of the audience as giving off energy, think of that collective energy as floating up away from the people into the air. A dancer’s energetic field floats around her and above her. The magic of stage presence is how to get the dancer’s energy out into the audience, and how to engage the energy of the audience. By looking out OVER the audience, rather than directly at the audience, your energetic field will float over and out above the audience to mingle with the energy of the audience. That is how to get a dynamic exciting experience going between the audience and the performer.
As an example, I will dance for a minute or two with the finest technique but no lift, then will do nothing but walk around the room, but with the magic lift. Invariably the consensus is that, for entertainment, they would rather watch a technically “inferior” dancer if that dancer has stage presence. It is a more engaging, dynamic, and fun performance for the audience, than a performance by a dancer who might be technically skilled, but who slouches, doesn’t lift, doesn’t look over and out, etc. (Of course let me issue the disclaimer here that it is ALWAYS good to be a technically skilled dancer!) “

-Stage Presence – Part 1, by Amira Jamal

Lift, look up and beyond, smile (but don’t paste it on – music is so complex your facial expressions must reflect the various strands of the melody), and TAKE YOUR TIME. One other element in your stage presence package: Pacing yourself and not being too busy. If you think of yourself as an artist, and that your dance is a picture (in motion, of course), think of what you would rather look at: a serene painting (not a still life, but something that has organized color, texture, and a recognizable theme) or scribbling done by a young child…

 A dancer who is experiencing the dance as it happens – as the music is converted to movement, is in for a wonderful treat, as is her audience.

-Stage Presence – Part 2, by Amira Jamal